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OCTOBER 4, 2023
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LIGHT MODE
Fark
Photoshop these dancing silhouettes
Defense Department Deputy CIO arrested for dogfighting without a plane
Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin poised to fire 'flying Chernobyl' missile as 71st birthday gift to himself. Since this missile has failed 13 previous tests, it should be glorious
Council announces they are trimming "Minge Lane", which reportedly has nice bushes (possible nsfw content on page)
Photoshop this idyllic cove
It's a, er, I mean, it's our trap
NATO and Ukraine will begin talks in December on Ukraine becoming a NATO member. Screw waiting for the war to be over
Maybe don't make your Halloween decorations so realistic that emergency services are alerted (w/ vid)
Are you tired of the same old radio drivel? It's time for your weekly 2-hour dose of alternative and indie music you won't hear on commercial radio, on pastFORWARD presents: Sonic Supernova #060. Starts @ 3:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
If you check between the couch cushions, you're likely to come across a Twitter employee or two still hiding from Elon
New York City is sinking at a rate of a half-foot per century, which eventually will take the smugness out of its citizens
Suzuki out of control in Japan. Not a repeat from 2002
Will the moderate Republican team up with the Democrats? Will the Democrats save McCarthy? Find out here at 1:30PM EST-ish on the House live feed for your McCarthy ousting thread
Monkey, Farkers don't care about national 'no drinking' day (possible nsfw content on page)
Today's 2-hr serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Bad Manners, Talking Heads, Martha And The Muffins, and Joe Jackson. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #521. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
Onion
Small Group Of Parents Explains Why They Are Responsible For 60% Of Book Bans
Federal Government Announces They’ve Hidden Briefcase Full Of Slavery Reparations Somewhere In Continental U.S.
New App Connects Users Too Tired To Get Out Of Bed With Gig Worker Who Will Turn Off Their Lights
Report: U.S. Economy Loses $5 Billion Every Year To Americans Rising For National Anthem
54-Year-Old Facebook User Wins Nobel Prize For Own Extensive Internet Research Into Dangers Of Covid Vaccine
Sex Moves You Should Never Try To Copy From Porn
New ‘Great British Baking Show’ Season Breaks Boundaries With First-Ever Yorkshire Pudding Contestant
Grandma Scammed By Every Piece Of Technology In House
Ex-Boyfriends Of Taylor Swift Give Advice To Travis Kelce
Home At Last!
Elon Musk Axes Twitter Election Integrity Team Ahead Of 2024 Elections
Sweaty Man Walked Here
Unsound System
Dune Buggy
Chiefs Fans React To Travis Kelce Dating Taylor Swift
Hard Times
Every Rugrats Character Ranked by How Much Gambling Destroyed Their Lives
15 Worst Songs By The Blood Brothers To Quote In Front Of Your Therapist
New Study Finds 56% Of Americans Believe Dinosaurs Coexisted on Earth at Same Time as the Rolling Stones
Every Guns N’ Roses Album Ranked Worst To Best
Cinema Icon: 15 Lesser Known Film Roles of Blowjob Bear From the Shining
Alpha Male in Critical Condition After Accidentally Touching Unopened Box of Tampons
“Bob’s Burgers” Characters Ranked by How Likely They Are To Get a Terrible Face Tattoo
Florida Mom Outraged To Find Copy of “Diary of Anne Frank” Floating in Waist-High Water in Her Living Room
Every Avenged Sevenfold Album Ranked Worst To Best
Incredible: Guitar Plays in Left Ear, Then Right Ear, Then Both Ears
Chill Restaurant Lets You Put Paper Towels in the Toilet
Recently Sober Friend Pounding Non-Alcoholic Beers With Familiar Ferocity
Eight Songs We’re Listening To This Week To Take Our Minds Off The Roman Empire
Goth Band’s Worldview Forever Changed After Single Visit To Water Park
Opinion: Everyone Standing Outside This Tour Bus Hoping to Meet the Band Is a Pathetic Loser Except Me
PARROT REPORT: 10/4/2023, 12:35:28 AM UTC
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